"In the Beginning, All I Wanted Was a Normal Life," by Caitlin Ferland


In the beginning, all I wanted was a normal life. White picket fence, kids, husband and a cat. Work 9-5, dinner at 6. Bath time and TV, snuggly nights by the fire.

This wouldhave been perfect, I thought. This is what I was raised to want in my life. Little did I know how wrong I was.

Fast cars and fast boys. Easy drugs and plentiful liqur. Expenseive clothes and numerous houses. Secret nights and wasted days. The disease of addiction growing inside me. “I got this.” My favorite saying. An empty shell is what I became. A shell about to shatter.

In my lowest of lows I became willing to grow. With no outside “stuff” to make me happy, I was brought to my knees by the wait of the world.

“It’s not your job to carry the world,” I was told.

Then “It’s not your job to do it alone.”

“By helping you, you are helping me.”

“Walk in my footsteps and I will show you the way.”

“The solution is here if you want it.”

“Have you had enough now.

“Yes,” I said. “Today is the day. Give me your hand and show me the way.”

I took their advice and walked in their path, and no outside stuff could compare.

“Normal” life is not for me. Not if I want to know serenity.

Gary Miller1 Comment