"Acceptance" by Jackie Joy

I took a look at myself.
I didn’t like what I saw. 
Once again, my inner critic crucified me.

You’re too fat.
You’re too old.
You’re ugly.

This floored me.
I’m none of those things.
My inner critic held firm.

'Fuck you’, I screamed.
You’ve been harassing me for 56 years.
At 62, I deserve to accept my body, my wrinkles, myself.

I’ve never done this.
Has any woman ever done this?
Accept themselves?

We’ve been advertised to ad nauseam.
Eat this. Don’t eat that.
Drink this. Don’t drink that.
Exercise, exercise, exercise.
Wear this. Don’t wear that.

There was a time when I curled up in front of the boob tube watching ‘What Not to Wear.’
For years, I took advice from a man and a woman who tore through people’s closets tossing their clothes out and dressing them anew. 
I bought into it. 
The clothes were not even my style.

I’ve bought into everyone’s ideas about what is right.
What is attractive.
No more.

I took a look at myself again.
Crows feet and all.
Silver hair.

I looked myself in the eye in the mirror.
I said to myself, ‘I love you Jackie…
I love you just the way you are.’