"Where I'm From" and Other Poems by Sean Harrington
*WHERE I’M FROM***
Whoa Nelly you had to ask / cover your ears stuff ‘em with grass /
FEAR / starvation / guns to my head / constant dread
I’m cold MOM do u hear me / I’m hungry mom CAN you feed me / do you want me /
do you need me /
I’m scared /
Shot at / assaulted sexually /assaulted mentally / always unexpectedly /
I’ve forgiven the step dads / I’ve forgiven the priests / I’ve forgiven the gangsters they vex me the least /
I think I’ve forgiven them but I sure can’t forget / or can I / or should I / how could I /
Have I really / DON’T BE SILLY
The rock in my storm was lost early / I miss you Nan / always will / but today for now I feel simply disappointing / not disappointed / because I’ve been anointed /
I need to fight the memories / I need to kill the feelings / I need to stop the feels
w/pills, w/booze, SH and risky thrills /
I seek peace / but it ALLUDES me / never INCLUDES me / almost CONCLUDES me /
I’ve driven it away / buried it /carried it / craved it / my past haunts me / it taunts me / the demons love me / because I’m unlovable /
I thank God / I thank angels / I thank saints / I get tired sometimes / I’m running outa faints
I’m still in the fight / no end in sight / get a grip dog you’re high as a kite
It’s gonna take a silver bullet to kill me / at least I think so / then again I DON’T KNOW /
Yes it’s true / I’ve done experiments galore / because I AM the
quintessential /indestructible / bullshit artist / shapeshifter / addict and whore
_______________________
*WHERE IT TOOK ME***
Well let me see / allow me to ponder / lets take a trip to my WAY BACK YONDER /
I MADE IT BACK from
hell for round 1 million / or was it a zillion
BOOZE became MY LOVER, MY BESTIE, MY DOWNFALL MY SELF SABOTAGING SEXY GIRL / sometimes sharing me with her besties Weed and Benzo / a triple threat threesome crescendo /
I’m PURRING now can u feel me /
She’s a jealous lover / they won’t let me recover
She knows I DON’T DESERVE TO BE HAPPY / seems her mission to make me think so / that I do know / hello Benzo
From coast to coast / from town to town over the seas often upside down / jail / rubber rooms / gutters , loneliness , fatigue / SI / SA / I’m OK / Just another day /
Is it over yet / am I over yet /
I’m tired / but not sleepy / it’s kinda creepy /
makes me weepy-boo hoo /
_______________________
*THIS IS WHAT I REALLY WANTED TO SAY***
Listen to this or read if you’re able / it’s my life not a dream / a bad trip /
or fanciful fable
I’m in double triple trouble / coasting in a bubble I can’t seem to escape / I’m semi tryin’/ I hate flyin’/ in planes that is / shit that sounds corny a tad thorny
Deep down it feels like I’m buyin’ dyin’ time / it’s inevitable / they say it’s unforgivable / unforgettable /SELFISH / that’s me / that I’ll tell you for FREE / trapped / hopeless / oscillating wildly / kinda like a seesaw but different to put it mildly
Glimmers of hope seem elusive / some kinda cult like / sort of exclusive /sometimes abusive
Manipulator / conman / victim / villain / survivor / protector / that’s me / MOSTLY PEACEFUL / mostly innocent /
WHOA / hold up Mr.Dooley / put yer breaks on / what are you on
What really happened you ask / YIKES / oh my goodness / goodness is not graciousness / but it could be graceful / depending on how I sugarcoat it /
It’s nasty it’s SURLY often hateful / always hurtful / I’m rarely grateful with a cherry on top / are you a cop
What I really wanted to say is that / I’ve seen THINGS and I know about STUFF /
/ It’s a Christmas miracle that I turned out as well as I did /
Did I remember to tell you that I was a kid /
_______________________
*WHEN IT HAPPENED***
In a nutshell I was hatched /born / dropped / feet first / runnin’/ gunnin’/ duckin’/ evadin’/ slippin’/ slidin’ / often hidin’ / I’ll spare you the extra special gory details
Basically / I was born /
I’m never gonna be the poster boy for the large book of recovery or sobriety / whatever THAT is / but as for survival I’ll settle for THAT / but just for tomorrow not for today
/ I’m still here / because I’m invincible / un convincible / did I say indestructible
Beep / beep / beep / beep
Semicolon / semicolon / semicolon
ATTENTION ATTENTION / "There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders “ /
/ a guy in a room once told me that those were excuses / his wisdom evades me / sometimes enrages me
/ am I done now / I’m tired / is it over yet /
Frankly I feel like I’ve been accosted / my resources / fresh horses / water / a nibble or two / they’re long gone / down right exhausted
I hear PURRING now / it’s soothing / it keeps me moving
/ something still loves me /
/ even though….
Random rooms /
CATS / one person not two
I’m PURRING now / will you HEAR me / I’m PURRING now do you SEE me
/ Is it over yet
Semicolon / semicolon /semicolon
_______________________
* BREAKIN’ OUT THE SMOOTHERS***
My best friends are my favorite confusers dulling the effect of my abusers /
Tiptoeing with Tito’s and his Benzo Bandidos / for 15 a day he’ll make anything go away /
Not a vacation or a staycation more like evaporation / where did I go
I’m invisible / feels comfortable / this I do know
My critters see me / they try to feed me / love me unconditionaly / kindness /affection / in spite of of my affliction / ADDICTION
I sometimes feel warm and fuzzy WITH WITH WITH humans who get me / in rooms or on the street /
The islands are full of misfit toys / glimpses of joys /
I repeat myself when under stress / I repeat myself when under duress
I wish deep down that I could surrender / give it up / put down my cup / but that seems to involve trusting another / I can hardly trust my own mother
So I put it all down on paper / put it all down with paint or words or blood / I’m no saint
Stuff it / crush it / drag it out of town / bury it with smoothers / indeed I feel like a sad clown / buried upside down / being pulled up / tarred feathered / jerked around
Screw it / there’s no hope / I’m just a guy like me / go forth old man with little regret / you’ll be here tomorrow I’m willing to bet
/ Daddy did the best he could / could / could’ve
/ but…….HE COULD NOT
_______________________
*AT THE MOMENT ***
I’m scared / I’m frightened as fuck / I’m trying to hide from myself / and others too / everyday is like trying on a new shoe / the one that doesn’t fit / the one that never will / at the moment I’m feeling ill / I’m frightened / I’m scared / I don’t know what to do /
How ya doin’ /
I’M FINE AND YOU ?
_______________________
*I DIDN’T UNDERSTAND***
Why I never fit in / why nobody loved me / and used me for sin / I didn’t understand I still don’t know why / I’ve lasted so long having done my best to die
______________________
*WHERE I’M HEADED ***
That question’s dreaded /
That’s a tough one / that’s a rough one /
I have dreams aspirations considerations halfway decent accommodations /
I’d like to reinvent myself / try to climb higher upon the TOP SHELF / leave the dirt on the ground / stop eating it / wash my BRAIN MIND with water not death / TAKE ANOTHER BREATH /
SHHHHH whisperrr /
Maybe I’ll have an art exhibit / maybe get more land / get a goat / get a chicken or two / jot down my memoirs for me not you
/ But you won’t / I won’t
/ But why
Because you’re old now with one foot in the grave /
your last chances / YOU’VE NONE SAVED /
I don’t fear death but suffering OH NO / I’ve had my fill / did I tell you I feel ill / way worse than a chill
I’m tired now / do you hear me / do you see me / can you feel me /
INVISIBILITY POWERS ACTIVATE /
Beep beep beeeep________
PERIOD
+LORD JESUS CHRIST SON OF GOD / HAVE MERCY ON ME A SINNER+
Wait a minute /
WHAT’S THAT /
It can’t be true /
I hear PURRING again / is it really you ?
Semicolon Semicolon Semicolon
Gabriel Acedia 07/03/2026